5 SHORTCUTS TO HAPPINESS. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy because you deserve it.

Life was created to be lived happily. But more often than not, we happen to think that we do not deserve to live a happy life and be happy. We should instead understand that happiness is a choice. It is not something that happens to us or something which we cannot control or have any influence on.

To reach happiness, we must first acknowledge the fact that our thoughts and actions have an enourmous power on how we feel: for this very reason we must modify our actions and schemes of thought that go against our well-being. Here are 5 quick and easy steps that will jumpstart your quest for happiness:

1.    PLEASURE:

Find pleasure wherever you go. It does not matter if circumstaces are good or bad: create your very own pleasures. Start and finish by catering to yourselves. Be agile receptors of all the delicious things this life can offer.

2.     PLAY:

Seek happiness with other people, get them involved. The smallest of gestures can suffice, a smile, a compliment, a kind gesture… Play!

3.     FORGET THE DRAMA:

Do not make a fuss out of everything that happens to you. Quit focusing on the negatives, the self-pitying and seeking people’s approval and understanding. Also quit giving too much to others, and give it to yourselves. Before anything, fill your own empty spaces. And while you do that, quit listening to bad news, even that of the media that have nothing to do with you. Nothing can stop the drama, if not trying to shut it down. Drama based on fear does not bring happiness about.

4.   FIND TRANQUILITY:

Sit and breathe the quietness in. It may seem strange at the beginning, but the more you do it the more you will be able to connect with yourselves. The more you will understand yourselves, the less needy you will feel, because tranquility can bring you the peace you seek, which is fundamental for reaching happiness.

5.   FORGET ABOUT THE OUTCOMES:

Believing that things ought to be done in a certain way or constantly waiting for the right moment to be happy, can steer you even more off from reaching your goal. You may feel that happiness is dictated by your current situation. You may think that for being happy you must have an end goal, the reaching of which will bring you happiness. But if you keep waiting for the right time, it will remain difficult to reach. Happiness is not the final destination, but the very journey that brings you towards it. Stress and disappointments are caused by expectations: reassest yours and determine if they are realistic or not. Ask yourselves why you keep holding onto them. This way it will be easier to let go and be happy.

 

TO BE OR NOT TO BE SELFISH?

Short answer: be selfish. Why, you might ask? Is not life better when shared and when you give yourself to others? If you put it that way, then yes the short answer would be to be selfless. But bear with me.

Since our childhood, we are educated to believe that you can only be happy when you say Yes to others: children are brought up to donate, to always smile, be kind and be the best form of human possible in the world. But the reality of the matter is that by always saying Yes you might make things smoother for a while, whereas in the long run you are solely and ultimately saying No to your needs, hopes and dreams.

I am by no means saying that you should then go ahead and neglect every request, challenge everyone else’s plans and just be overall rude. There was a time when I was extremely selfish and focused only on my well being as a survival tactic; broken farewells, sleepless nights and utter regrets in a steep falling spiral towards self destruction. A few steps down the road, and I am still selfish, just in a different, more healthy way.

To be selfless, you need to be selfish. There’s a difference between the simple availability to donate, and being able to listen, be altrustic, and give to your own accord. Sometimes even arguing is healthier if that ends up in a better understanding of both parties’ needs. In fact, being always available 24/7 will just increase your frustration and with time it will turn into a feeling of suffocation, the kind that feels as though you were running out of air. Building healthy relationships and finding your own path are not possible if you ignore yourself to please others, so please do listen to your guts and just go with the flow.

This is just my two cents on this topic, but I am sure I have left many interesting points out. But do go on and have some selfish, indulging, treat yourself time.